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"...first it killed the Romans, and now its killing me!"

We used to chant this rhyme in fifth grade, because I was required to take Latin as an 8-year-old. I attended a Christian private school from fourth to fifth grade, and I remember struggling to conjugate verbs-- it was designed to help us learn Romance languages in the future, but truth be told I think it only made my French worse.

Recently I've been looking up Latin phrases again, especially after seeing it crop up over and over in Shakespeare, and I always wonder what my motto would be (if I had a family crest or something, you know?) For a couple of year I signed my email with "soli deo gloria" (glory to God alone) or "sola gratia" (by grace alone), and people never understood why I would choose to put in a bit of a dead language amidst my perfectly normal, English email.

Anyways, some amusing Latin phrases that have been cropping up in my searches-- some funny, some serious, some commonplace, some silly. Sign your letters off with these to sound high and mighty, or just to screw around with people's heads:

• Absum! - I'm outta here!
• Ad astra per aspera - To the stars through difficulty
• Ad eundum quo nemo ante iit - To boldly go where no man has gone before
• Adeste Fideles - Be present, faithful ones
• Alma Mater - Nourishing mother. (One's old school or university)
• Animadvertistine, ubicumque stes, fumum recta in faciem ferri? - (At a barbeque) Ever noticed how wherever you stand, the smoke goes right into your face?
• Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem - In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on windswept crags
• Balaenae nobis conservandae sunt! - Save the whales!
• Bovina Sancta! - Holy cow!
• Braccae tuae aperiuntur - Your fly is open
• Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam - I have a catapult. Give me all your money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head
• Credidi me felem vidisse! - I tought I taw a puddy tat!
• Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre? - Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me?
• Feles mala! - Bad kitty!
• Fortes et liber - Strong and free. (Alberta)
• Fortitudine vincimus - By endurance we conquer
• Furnulum pani nolo - I don't want a toaster
• Gloria in excelsis deo - Glory to God in the highest
• Hic puer est stultissimus omnium! - This boy is the stupidest of all!
• Hodie mihi, cras tibi - Today for me, tomorrow for you
• Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum europe vincendarum - Sometimes I get this urge to conquer large parts of Europe
• Iubilate Deo - Rejoice in God
• Luctor et emergo - I struggle but I'll survive
• Luke sum ipse patrem te - Luke, I am your father. (Star Wars)
• Lux et veritas - Light and Truth
• Magister mundi sum! - I am the master of the universe!
• Mater tua criceta fuit, et pater tuo redoluit bacarum sambucus - Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries
• Maximus in minimis - Great in little things
• Meum pactum dictum - My word is my bond
• Nonne de novo eboraco venis? - You're from New York, aren't you?
• Nonne macescis? - Have you lost weight?
• Nosce te ipsum - Know thyself. (Inscription at the temple of Apollo in Delphi.)
• Odi et amo - I hate (her), and I love (her) (Catullus)
• Paucis verbis, quid est deconstructionismus? - What, in a nutshell, is deconstructionism?
• Post scriptum (P.S.) - After what has been written
• Post tenebras lux - After the darkness, light
• Pulvis et umbra sumus - We are dust and shadow. (Horace)
• Quaere verum - Seek the truth
• Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari? - How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
• Semper fidelis - Always faithful
• Semper superne nitens - Always striving upwards
• Semper ubi sub ubi ubique - Always wear underwear everywhere
• Si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes - Essentially it says, 'if you can read this, you're overeducated.'
• Stercus accidit - Shit happens
• Te audire non possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure - I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear
• Via Crucis - The Way of the Cross
• Vincit omnia amor - Love conquers all
• Vincit omnia veritas - Truth conquers all

My personal favorites:

• Cacoethes scribendi - An insatiable urge to write. (Juvenal)
• Clamo, clamatis, omnes clamamus pro glace lactis - I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream
• Fortiter in re, suaviter in modo - Resolutely in action, gently in manner. (To do unhesitatingly what must be done but accomplishing it as inoffensively as possible)
• Gnothe seauton (Greek) - Know thyself
• Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur - Anything said in Latin sounds profound
• Quis separabit? - Who shall separate us?
• Sed quis custodiet ipsos custodes? - Who watches the watchmen? (Juvenal)
• Si vis amari, ama - If you wish to be loved, love. (Seneca)
• Vacca foeda - Stupid cow
• Veni, Vidi, Visa - I Came, I Saw, I Shopped

I think I'm going to use these for the next couple of days as my away messages, just to throw people off. It makes everything sound grander and more impressive, even when all you're really saying is "stupid cow".